So  last year, God had me chasing this new epiphany. I know it’s not new for some, but for us slow folk….

I was doing business with an RV company and I was dealing with their lawyer. Whom I paid.

So that would make him a vendor and me a client. One would think.

Said lawyer is an emotional bully and very condescending and prideful.

Now….I am really a kind and gracious person. Really I am!

If you dealt with me in my past, all I can say is that there is a Jesus!

And….well…I am sorry.


But today, I daily make a choice to walk in the fruit of the spirit (which we are about to start writing and filming a nine week online course/ challenge… coming your way soon)

I really “needed” what it was that I was negotiating, the RV. Maybe need isn’t the right word. I would “like” that which we were negotiating. And I needed to get the show on the road and buy the RV.


I had a choice to make. I would either cower to that spirit of hidden rage and pride.


I would confront that spirit in love (“Kingdom Confrontation” best series ever, Danny Silk) How many of you know what happens when you confront a prideful spirit? Yep. So I had to count the cost.

Here is what God walked  me through personally. When you have a need and you place the expectation of someone else to fill that need, you open yourself up to delusions and deceptions and every evil work.

You see, I had to ask myself,

“Self, if you had all the money in the world, would you allow that spirit to dominate you?”

The answer is NO. Or it should be right?

See, someone I know, would allow themselves to be mistreated and abused emotionally for ten years at work because they “need that job”.

I would be in that same job for one week. Why? Because when you allow a spirit other than the Holy Spirit to dominate and rule your “needs” you miss out on where God wants to direct you and bless you.

If I cower to that spirit because I “need” that product, then I am coming into agreement with that spirit. If I have to dance and placate in order to get my “need” met, I will have to dance and placate for years to come to maintain it.

If I stay in a job that I am being emotionally bullied because I “need” a job…I will miss where God is trying to get me.

Our needs can only be fulfilled by Him. In truth, in love, in kindness, in graciousness, in FAITHFULNESS.

The moment you try and fill a need outside of God and the fruit of the spirit, you are governed by that false spirit. We “put up with” because we don’t trust what is on the other side. We don’t trust God has something better. That you passed a heart test and won!

So, on with my story, I confronted that emotional bully. Knowing that it was going to cost me. I firmly stated my position and the way we were going to do business. And it reacted the way bullies do when called out. Lies, deception, projection….blame….over the top reaction.

But I knew this was a test of my heart also.

Was I going to allow “need” to govern me? NO!

Because my need is in Jesus. And my outcome is in Jesus. And everything the enemy tries to steal, kill and destroy, God will take it and slap the enemy right in his mouth.

Where I am served injustice, God sets me up to receive justice. I can’t receive justice and promotion, ruling and reigning without injustice. He is a God of balanced scales. So we walk in peace and assurance that on the other side is our true blessing and not our Ishmael, not the counterfeit we created out of “need”.

The price is too high to create outcomes out of needs. When you live as a eunuch, having nothing and needing nothing then nothing can own you. When you live as a consumer, needing to fill a void, needing to fill identity, needing to fill the empty place in your heart, needing to stay at the same comfort level because you fear change and set back (the bow always pulls the arrow back…before it launches) you will be swayed whichever way the wind will blow, you will be prone to lies and deception and delusion. You will be governed by the thing that fills the void.

So the next time you are served abuse, lies, aversion, projection…. ask yourself,

“Self, if you had all the money in the world, if you had a spouse, if you had a place to stay, if you had another job opportunity, if you had another friend…if you had….(because you do in Jesus!) Would you allow this behavior? Would you allow this spirit to dominate?”

Now this isn’t to be misconstrued with a time of refinement. There were plenty of times God told me to stay put and lay down and pray. But those were times when I ruled my emotions and knew I was on assignment and my feelings were not involved and I didn’t take it personally. I was being strengthened…not drained and dismayed. Jesus laid down to people and stood up to spirits.

What need is governing you? The price is high when you abdicate your authority and value.